Becoming Neighbors

     After moving into a community where we literally knew no one, one of our biggest goals was to get to know our community and for the community to get to know us. This is mainly because we believe that before we can know how we are to be a part of what God is doing in this community we must become a part of the community. “Relocation” is all about desiring for our neighbors and our neighbors’ families what we desire for ourselves and our families. It isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about coming in as wounded healers, as people ready to walk alongside others in search of answers and who are willing to help in whatever ways we can.^a. We are grateful that this past month we have taken some big steps forward in 3 ways: we had a fish fry with the neighbors on our block, continued attending coterie and sub-committee meetings and began substitute teaching at one of the schools in our neighborhood.       
     At dinner with friends they asked how meeting our neighbors was going. We said slowly but surely we are seeing more of them by just being out in the yard and by walking the dog, but no real relationships to speak of. They generously offered to get together with other members of the church and throw a cook-out for us; our only job was to get people there. So I went door to door and invited the people on our street and around the neighborhood. The morning of we weren’t sure if anyone would come. We figured 2-3 would be considered a success. When 3pm came people started arriving. We ended up having about 25 people attend and they actually stayed and visited the whole time. We enjoyed hearing about the neighborhood from these families on our street, many of whom have been here for 20-40 years. They have raised their families here and most seemed to know each other well. They were very welcoming and enjoyed the opportunity to all get together to visit and enjoy some delicious food. We hope to make it a regular thing.
   

     When we moved in to our new home in January we were told that there was a neighborhood coterie, a planning group that meets once a month to make decisions for the community.  It was a no-brainer that this was something that we needed to become a part of.  We felt that this would be a great way to meet those people in the community that were some movers and shakers and who have some vision for what they want to see in their community.  The first two monthly meetings that I was planning on attending were cancelled.  So it was almost March before I could finally attend this meeting.  I found out that they already had a sub-committee that was meeting to work on getting a community garden started. So I just began to show up and listen and learn from my neighbors.   We met weekly for about 6 or 7 weeks to get ready for our ground breaking on May 17^th.  Also, at the May monthly meeting the coterie board failed to have a quorum so there was no way of voting on the next action steps. That led those present board members to reevaluate and look to see who they could possibly elect to the board at the next monthly meeting. This also happens to be the annual meeting where this can happen.  Much to my surprise, many of the board members who are also on the sub-committee were quick to throw my name out as a possible board member. Since there were so many agreeing, those who don’t really know me took their word for it.  This is a huge step in relational trust from about a dozen people who know this community well.  I am excited to see where God takes these relationships.
     
      I have found that one of the easiest ways to meet kids and families in the community is by working with them at school.  Having some experience in teaching, I decided that I would get certified to substitute as this would allow me to earn some additional income for our family and help me to become a face that kids and teachers can begin to know and trust.  After a month of waiting, I finally got all my papers in and was ready to go.  One of the schools that is in our neighborhood is NP Moss Preparatory, the alternative school for the Parish.  My first job was with the 2^nd/3^rd grade class.   What’s funny is that probably about a week before I was telling Lacey I wasn’t very comfortable being with elementary kids all day so I wasn’t sure how many of those jobs I would take.  At the end of that day, one of the school resource officers came and got me and said the principal wanted to talk.  At first I thought I may have done something wrong but the officer quickly told me that he liked the way I handled myself with the kids and that he put in a good word with the principal.  When I got to her office she offered me a long-term sub spot for the rest of the year with the connections program (these are students who are over-aged 8^th graders, a population of kids that I love to work with).  This has been far more than I imagined.  I get to interact not only with the connections students but with many others who are there for other reasons.  And lately I have been seeing more and more of them around the neighborhood. 

     

     All in all this past month we have been able to build many new relationships.  We believe that this will be a big part of our foundation as God develops our church’s and our family’s ability to love the neighborhood he’s placed us in.

a.       

  

            a.  Gordan, Wayne & Perkins, John M. Making Neighborhoods Whole. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2013. Print

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer

Romans 12:12- "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." This verse keeps popping up everywhere and I'm sure you know what that means, it's going to apply to life somehow. For me, I needed to be reminded what to do while waiting...

I remember the day we agreed to take "B" as a foster child. Our home was on hold (as in don't call us, we had another miscarriage and we aren't sure we are going to do this) and our social worker called anyway with a placement of a newborn little boy. Surprisingly to us both, we said yes. We wouldn't learn his name, birthday or anything until a week later. That was a long and hard week of waiting. Worry and impatience filled our days. I'm grateful for good friends who could tell I needed them during that time. I kept being reminded to keep my eyes on Christ as I expressed how I felt. I imagined it was like Peter felt when he had stepped outside of the boat and onto the water. If God didn't help me, I was sure to sink. I was in over my head. I knew that none my feelings, well really any part of me, was 100% up to the task. It all just felt bigger than me and I knew there were waves out there and it wouldn't always be easy. And yet, I knew it was right. The peace that surpassed understanding seemed so real in those moments. Saying yes felt exciting and we were full of hope because we knew that somehow and in some way God had given us a desire to love children without a family.

I had the same feeling later that month after we made the decision and shared the news that we were planning to leave the job as well as the home that we loved and frankly built our entire life around. I was filled with feelings of excitement and hope mixed with anxiety and uncertainty. Would people understand, would we fall on our face in failure, could I support and trust Jason enough to take the lead when he himself didn't have all the answers to how things would play out? But again, somehow and in some way God was growing in us a passion, vision, desire, whatever name you want to put on it, to love this new community that we didn't even know yet through our church that we had only been members of for a couple years. And he was confirming it the strangest and most amazing ways.

I can't tell you that we were ready for either of these life-altering decisions as much as we would have liked to be. We didn't have all of our ducks pretty and in a row. We could speculate and plan with what we did know but we didn't have control over most of those plans. As we sought God about them we knew that we were supposed to keep moving forward and so we did. It was an act of faith based on promises and hope, pure and simple.

That was 8 months ago and the dust is starting to settle. We still can't say everything is wrapped up in a pretty bow or that we don't have moments where we feel anxious. We are still fostering "B" and can't imagine life without him but he's not a Herbstler yet. We are still seeking exactly how we can best love and serve our community and church by being learners. We are living off of financial support and these odd and truly God-sent jobs. But we do know for certain that all this is not by accident. And we are still constantly having to remind ourselves to be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. We are beyond grateful for such wonderful friends and family who both encourage and challenge us to believe that it's worth presenting ourselves as living sacrifices to God rather than conforming to the patterns of this world.