The other night when we were coming home from dinner I sat
in the very back of our minivan (yes, we are that family that rolls in a
minivan). It was the first time in a
long time that I’ve ridden in the back of a vehicle, especially my own. I was taken aback by how different the view
was for me; especially since I was looking at all the same roads and businesses
that I am used to seeing.
As we
pulled out, I almost instantly became uncomfortable with my new position. I could only hear about every fourth word
that was being spoken by the other adults in the front. At every turn I felt
completely out of control and looked for things to hang on to as if I were on a
roller coaster. Then all of the streets and businesses began to look as though I
were in some new country that I had never been to before. As we traveled further and further down the
road I was constantly saying things like, “can you repeat that” and “what, I
can’t hear you!” Mostly I was saying these
things to try and understand what the conversation was about but also to try
and regain some sort of control. I
remember thinking how weird this felt and I was only about 5 feet from my usual
position in the van.
After
some time had passed and I was able to overcome my new discomfort, it began to
hit me that this is a little taste of what it’s like to put myself in someone
else’s shoes and to see things from their point of view. No telling how many times I’ve heard the
saying “put yourself in somebody else’s shoes” and of course I have more times
than not said “I understand where you are coming from.” Sure, maybe sometimes I do, but in general I
have had very little understanding of what their view was.
In Christian circles you often hear
people say, “we should be loving people who are different from us” (whatever
that means). That’s great that we are
getting out of our comfort zone and putting ourselves in uncomfortable
situations. But how often do we actually
stop and take the time to view things from the other persons view? To stop and listen to others and hear where
they are truly coming from takes us denying ourselves and putting ourselves in
others shoes. It takes more work and
effort than I usually want to put into conversations. Mainly because it’s not
about me.
In Philippians 2 the Apostle Paul
tells the church at Philippi to look not only to their own interests but to the
interest of others and to not act out of selfish ambitions. No doubt that he was communicating the same message
to me as I sat in the back of the van that day.
Now when I get in the van I try to not only see things from the driver’s
seat, but also from the way back. I want
the same to be true in relationships with people as well.
